Expectations.

You wake up this morning, sitting up on your bed, and you just know your backbone will hold you up. Just like how you know your legs will be stnading you up. But what if it falls?

That was one of the many random thoughts that crossed her mind today.

Expectations.

We live by expectations- peoples' and ours'. Expectation is good, its helps make good things better. Helps us hope and strive towards a goal. But living up to it isn't so easy. What if things don't go as expected? Dissapointment stands by your door.

Today's journey started off like many other days, only, it ended rather differently. So she thought she had the day all planned. Less did she know it was going to take a different turn. For the past couple of weeks now, she hasn't moved, no climbing mountains, no taking on new challeges, no swimming in the river, no reaching for the rainbow. None of that.

She stood.

For a very long time she stood at that same place. Knowing that there was so much to do, so much to achieve. So much of power given, and with those power came not only responsibility but expectations too. Her world was closing down on her- and she continues to stand there.Doing nothing.

Papa said.

He taught her once- you got to learn to loose. Now it all makes sense. Because at this point, all she wanted was to be able to fall and not be afraid to get hurt, to run and then take time to stop for air, to fail, and not fear the consequence, because its another way to learn. She learnt how to loose.

It is only when I doubt yourself, you will fall-A stranger told her that day. A stranger turned friend. This is a phase, it will soon pass, and its okay to sit a while and rest, but remember to get back up, remember the fight you have fought, gain strength, most of all, remember who you are.

I thank God for you, friend. And backbone.

Back to where it all begun.

Tired.

She was tired. There is too much going on. It was that time in the journey you can only remember seeing the scorching sun, and there is no one else but you. And all you see are mountains and mountains waiting for you to climb. The hill before her seem so difficult to climb, suddenly loneliness becomes her company.

She is lost.

The passion, its missing. What was she fighting for, she cannot recall. One decision lead to another and another and now she isn't sure if the very place she is stnading is where she wanted ot be in the first place.

She holds on.

She didn't need rest, she didn't need a break, all she needed was re-assurance. In His beautiful letters she recalled the words- there is nothing He would give that she cannot handle. This place she is in now, this position, this circumstance are all happening for a reason. Yes, she is still tired. But with what little reassurance she has, she holds on.

It is well with my soul.

The journey is going to be long, and it would be even longer if you remain walking without knowing what used to make you run and fly. Maybe its time to journey back to where it all begun. Back to the passion, the dream, the heart.